I run from my past (Jake)

[QUiNN]

OUTFIT
DOYOUKNOW

[/color]
whats worth fighting for
when its not worth dying for
does it take your breath away
and you feel yourself suffocating[/center]

Lauren ran a hand through her hair and let a heavy sigh hunch her body for a moment. Her head was pounding from last nights festivities and she was sure everyone in the barn was working hard to be as loud as possible. She stood up straight and rubbed her temples. She gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to maim every person that came within ten feet of her. It was going to be a challenge just getting to the feed barn without spitting out cuss words at all the underclassmen chatting like troops of sugar high birds, but she figured she'd managed. Lots of angry mumbling and deep breaths later she finally arrived at her destination, fuming, but slowly calming when she realized the barn was pretty much empty. It was far quieter here and she actually thought for a moment that she might be able to get her feed and go in peace, then she spotted Hobday and her day instantly darkened. oh wonderful she grumbled under her breath.

It was relatively warm out this morning and she was actually planning on going for a ride, being that she hadn't done much training since she got here and she definitely wanted to win. She's chosen to wear a lose white tank top over and deep red camie, paired with black riding breeches and tall boots. What? She insisted on looking good even when riding, not that she had to try very hard. Her nails were still painted red from the night before, but her make up was toned down at least. Her coffee locks fell in long waves just past her shoulders and bounced slightly as she headed for the appropriate oats for her stallion. As much as she enjoyed bugging the crap out of Jake she was rather hopping he wouldn't notice her, her head hurt to much to get into it with him today. Unfortunately, she was hard to ignore.

[Hannah;]

Hobday!

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie

Jake was hanging. To say the least. He felt horrific, but he was motivated by the spinning thoughts in his head of last night, which made him particularly happy. He had mucked out Red, without being sick and had now made his way to the feed barn and was now mixing Red's feed. Slightly aggrivated by the fact he had run out of garlic supplement but all the same he mixed the food and took a moment to have a breather as he felt that dizzy feeling return. Even though he was as hungover as they come, he still looked gorgeous. He was wearing a black tank top and washed out jeans that were tucked into his ariat boots and chaps. On his wrist he had a bracelet, it was always a bit of a paradox to him. It was originally a womans necklace, but wrapped round twice, it doubled as a bracelet on Jake's wrist, it had a locket kind of thing on it, in the shape of a heart, on one side it had 'Headstrong' engraved and on the otherside the letters 'A.H'. He remembered when his dad had given it too him, Dustin and Aud had been bickering about it, because Dustin wouldn't throw it away so when Aud demanded it, Dustin agreed, just to keep the peace, but it had obviously meant something to him, and instead of throwing it out had given it to Jake and told him to look after it, just saying it was a lucky token. Jake just wore it now and then, a little trinket, reminded him of his dead and helped with any homesickness, unfortunately , it didn't help with alcohol poisoning. Jake sat down on top a feed bin for a moment before he thought he'd throw Ryan's together because Ryan hadn't been on the yard yet, and it would save him the trouble, as he started putting them together Lauren walked in. His mood darkened a little. She was dressed up as usual but she swaggered in and began doing whatever she needed too, neither of them giving each other a blind bit of notice.

[QUiNN]

OUTFIT
DOESTHEPAIN

[/color]
out weigh the pride
and you look for a place to hide
did someone break your heart inside
your in ruin[/center]

She gave a melodramatic sigh every time someone around her did something irritating to her, which was all too often, but reminded herself that she could beat them all later when she was feeling better. Her tall boots shined from a recent cleaning and made a dull thudding noises as she crossed the cement to the feed bin where Jake was preparing his horses meal. No, not just his, she noticed two feed mixtures being made and she only had to wonder for a moment whose it was. Ryan was one thing her and Jake, begrudgingly, had in common. She wasn't sure if she'd feed his horse for him...at least not with him knowing, but her and Jake both cared for Ryan on some level. Its just a good thing Ryan never insisted she be nice to Jake or anything or she'd have two bodies to clean up. Still, the fact that Hobday was there doing something for Ryan calmed her a bit, enough to only think about killing him every four seconds rather than two.

She reached down to get some feed only to find Hobday had the same idea and blocked her with his arm. She let out another frustrated sigh and had to remind herself that it probably wasn't intentional. She was sure it was, but lying was the only way she was sure she would smack him right then. She never thought the day would come were she would have to spend and entire school year with him, probably even four years or so. The thought made her almost swoon with sickness, or maybe that was the hangover...whatever. Her heart beat pounded in her head and she thought about sitting down and just waiting until Jake was done when she caught a glimpse of something on his wrist and immediately, almost instinctively, grabbed his arm and pulled it closer to her bloodshot eyes. She'd seen him wear this bracelet before at competitions, but never had she seen it this close. It wasn't a bracelet at all, it was a necklace.

A very, very familiar necklace.

Shut up. she warned him in a pained, but forceful voice, just in case he was thinking about speaking. She'd seen this trinket before, or at least one like it, but when she was very young. It brought back a flood of memories, times when she was too young to realize how shitty her life really was. "mommy...where didsh you get dis bayshweht?" she had said, the voice of her three year old self clear in her mind as she stared at the word "headstrong" imprinted on the heart. "It was a gift" her mother said. Her voice was cold, Lauren remembered, but it was one of the few times she recalled her mother looking truly heartbroken. "fom who?" the toddler curiously held the heart in her hand and let her fingers trace the letters A.H.

"from your father"

Her mothers words rang in her ears like she was standing there the in feed barn finalizing the conversation just like she did back then with her definite and strained words. Lauren put her hand throw one of the loops Jake had made around his wrist and jerked her hand upward, the string making a popping sound as it broke free. She held the trinket in her hand and turned it over to reveal the same letters she'd seen fourteen years ago. A.H. Amanda Heart. where did you get this? she whispered.

[Hannah;]

It wasn't like he didn't know Lauren was tapped in the head, but it did seem to suprise him infinitely each time she did something eccentricly weird. He was slightly off put by the way she suddenley saw his bracelet, and in the politest of words, spazzed out. Bug-Eyed was something generally Lauren didn't do, but she was almost horrified by it. It made Jake panic a little, He fel the muscles up his back tense as he stood upright now as she came over and proceeded to rip it off his wrist. That was not cool. Dustin had told Jake to look after that, not let a spazzed out whore rip it from his wrist. Jake was shocked, and angry.

Lauren!? What the -

She cut him off mid sentence. Her voice was dead, and kind of strange. He scowled and stayed silent a moment. He felt a rare pang of pity at that moment however, and spoke calmly.

My Dad gave it to me, whats it to you anyway?

He snatched it back out of her hand at lightning speed. His strong fingers wrapped themselves into the golden chain. Its sentimental value now being questioned.

[QUiNN]

OUTFIT
ONE

[/color]
twenty one guns
lay down your arms
give up the fight
one twenty on guns
throw up your arms into the sky
you and I[/center]

Lauren's face drained of color then flushed deep scarlet all in one instant as he spoke. YOUR-?! sounding like the snarl of a dying animal, her voice cut short with a painful sort of strangled noise. Her eyes burned with deep loathing and misery. She glowered at him, teeth nearly bared as her breath came ragged quickened with her racing thoughts. Her mother was the devil. All her life she'd made Lauren's life a living hell, what with the training and abuse and more training, your doing it WRONG Lauren, you NEVER do it right, you never will! You'll never win If you don't run laps and more laps, push ups Lauren! Harder, faster, more more more! Don't complain! SHUT UP! Shut up and do what I say! To slow Lauren! Your terrible! Winning only means a ribbon, your legs were all over the place! Your embarrassing! Make me forget you were a mistake if you can. Work harder! Shut up! Beat Hobday beat Hobday beat Hobday...! Laurens head began to spin with memories as things struggled to find their place. She felt dizzy and clutched her hands on her forehead, fingernails digging into her scalp as she attempted to battle her own mind. Nausea threatened to overwhelm her and she squeezed her eyes and mouth shut.

Her mother was the devil and now she'd taken her last hope away. Her father. Her only hope that there was something okay in her life was that her father was a good man. That he was something of a normal Dad. he was off single somewhere wondering what was happing to his daughter since that witch kept him away. He was kind and sorry, wishing he could meet his child someday and forgive her for her awful habits. He'd give her a hug and tell her everything would be okay and she'd believe him. Everything would be okay....but its not and she would never hug her dad, or be able to look at him knowing that he was just as bad as her mom. He was married. Had a few kids that he lived with a cared for, not once did he speak of Amanda or her daughter. How could he? It screw up his whole lie of a life. She really was a mistake. So much lower than the Hobday's and their family and her mother knew it. beat Hobday beat Hobday beat Hobday...

No. nononono. Its all wrong. Shes jumping to things. Theres no way. The Hobday's must have stolen the necklace somehow. She glared at Jake again, cursing herself as tears threatened to overflow. Its not yours! she hissed, snatching at the broken trinket.